Marriage Counseling: All You Need to Know

Falling in love, getting married, and seeing your relationship grow is a wonderful experience, but relationships come with challenges. At times navigating the stresses and ups and downs of life becomes too much and leads to situations that often take a toll on a relationship. If your relationship has hit a rocky patch and you want to save it from further destruction, consult Dr. Zlatin Ivanov for professional guidance. He offers marriage counseling to help save a marriage by improving communications, building trust, setting boundaries, moving past issues, and resolving conflicts.

Couples seek counseling when they want to improve their relationship or have become unhappy in their marriage. Couples therapy can be a powerful tool whether you are looking to increase intimacy, improve communication, build trust after a betrayal, or learn to navigate your differences as individuals.

Read on to know how marriage counseling helps couples work through their issues, how a trained professional can guide couples in the right direction, and what you need to know before going for therapy.

What Is Marriage Counseling?

Marriage counseling helps couples navigate relationship troubles and strengthen their marriage, guided by an experienced, licensed marriage counselor. Also referred to as couples therapy or marriage therapy, marriage counseling focuses on relationships and marriages. The counselors are trained and certified to help couples diagnose relationship problems and develop practical solutions.

Couples therapy is a good option if an issue is stopping you from living a happy and full life with your partner. Therapy is a safe place for couples to talk about how they really feel about the issues they are having in their relationship, such as shared responsibility, infidelity, etc. It is an effective way to improve communication skills or open communication, reach mutual understanding, figure out how to solve marital problems and move forward as a couple.

Read more: It’s Not Just in Your Head: How Your Anxiety Might Be Affecting You Physically

How Does Marriage Counseling Work?

Marriage counseling aims to give couples the tools to understand each other and resolve conflicts. It is observed that most couples turn to relationship counseling when something is wrong. It is important to note that counseling is beneficial at any relationship stage but the sooner you seek it, the better you can handle marital troubles.

Marriage counselors can help couples with the following:

• Financial disputes
• Lack of communication in a relationship
• Conflict resolution
• Identification of issues affecting the relationship
• Trust issues between partners
• Reclaiming the spark or building intimacy
• Infidelity issues in a relationship
• Disagreements in parenting styles
• Avoiding divorce and saving a marriage
• Finding healthy ways to end a relationship if nothing else works

Types of Marriage Counseling

Marriage counselors use a variety of approaches and techniques to help couples resolve their issues and enjoy a healthy relationship.

Learning about the different types of therapy can make the search for the right counselor easy.

Different types of couples therapy include:

• Gottman method couples therapy – This method focuses on identifying and disarming harmful behaviors that damage relationships and cause marriage problems. These behaviors include defensiveness, criticism, stonewalling, or contempt. The goal of this therapy is to defuse conflict and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding in a relationship.
• Discernment counseling – This method is designed to help two people decide what they want to do next. It is for cases when one partner wants to end the relationship, but the other is leaning towards saving it. The therapy helps the couple discover all their options before they make the ultimate decision about the fate of their relationship.
• Solution-focused therapy – It works best for couples looking forward to finding a solution for a specific problem or dispute. With the help of a therapist, couples can set their relationship goals and work to achieve them. Solution-focused couple therapy can significantly reduce couple burnout and give both partners a chance to develop more attachment and interest in each other.
• Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) – EFT is one of the most researched and tested types of couples therapy and involves discussing specific, distressing events in the relationship. The therapist encourages each partner to share the problems they are facing and works with them to identify, explore and make sense of the underlying emotions that lead to these problems. These discussions help couples to understand the emotions and behaviors behind what happened.
• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) – It centers on the notion that thoughts influence behaviors. CBT initially focuses on identifying what each partner is thinking about the conflicts that have brought them to the therapist. CBT is often used for treating issues like anxiety and depression, and it has shown to be an effective form of couples therapy as well. It address communication issues and plays a key role in resolving conflicts.

What Type of Therapy Works Best for Married Couples?

There is no way to tell which therapy works best for married couples. There are several approaches to couples counseling, and you can choose a therapy based on your personal preference and relationship goals. In addition to finding the best type of therapy, you should focus on finding a therapist who is a good fit for both partners’ needs.

Does Marriage Counseling Really Help?

The effectiveness of marriage counseling is directly related to the motivation level of both the partners and the timing for seeking counseling. Research conducted on marriage counseling shows promising results. Studies by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) note that:

• More than 98% of couples who go for marriage counseling report that psychotherapy sessions are either excellent or good
• 90% of the couples who try marriage counseling report improved emotional health
• Two-thirds of couples say they have seen improvements in their physical health after seeking counseling

Marriage therapy is effective but it can only get positive results if you seek help and resolve issues before significant disputes. Communication issues such as poor conflict management or a lack of positive communication can lead to relationship problems. Marriage counseling can be very effective when couples are committed and focused on saving their relationship.

Who Needs Marriage Counseling?

Even though it is called marriage counseling, it is not just for people who have taken their vows. There are no major differences in the techniques or therapies used with couples having relationship problems. Anyone can go for therapy, regardless of the status of their relationship.

People who can benefit from marriage counseling include:

• Straight couples
• LGBT couples
• Engaged couples
• Couples that are dating
• Couples in long-distance relationships
• Couples in open relationships
• Couples who are separated

You can also consider marriage counseling if you are undergoing issues you cannot solve on your own. A licensed, unbiased and objective perspective often helps, and you may see improvement within just a few sessions.

Couples can also seek counseling if:

• They are having the same disagreement or fight and cannot find a solution
• They are continuously disagreeing about finances, parenting, and lifestyle choices
• They want to figure out how to communicate better
• Their household chores and responsibilities are not equal, and they are not happy with the way things are going
• They have lost romance or sexual chemistry
• The relationship is on auto-pilot
• One of the partners is emotionally unavailable, or the partner feels unheard or unseen
• They have experienced trauma or loss and are having trouble processing it
• They are struggling with mental health issues, infidelity, or substance abuse that is destroying their relationship

It is essential to know that therapy can benefit most couples, but it is not for people in abusive relationships. If you or a loved one is struggling with any form of abuse, seek individual therapy and help immediately.

What Happens During Marriage Counseling?

Most marriage counselors encourage both partners to be present for counseling sessions. The therapist wants to see how you interact and communicate with each other so they can come up with the most effective tools and offer the best advice to help you.

If, for any reason, your partner cannot attend a session, you can attend it by yourself. You can focus on learning about yourself, how you feel about your relationship and get professional advice on making things work.

Marriage counselors ask a lot of questions during the initial therapy sessions. They want to learn more about you as an individual and how you function as a married couple. They will ask questions about your relationship, childhood, or other aspects of your home and work life. Sharing these details with a stranger is not easy, but opening up is an integral part of the process.

Once the therapist learns more about you, he will ask you to discuss what goals you want to accomplish during counseling. You can choose goals you want to work on, whether it is learning to understand your partner or finding ways to compromise in a relationship.

Marriage counseling is personal as well as unique. There is no telling how much time or sessions you will require for reaching your goals. You may reach your goals after a few sessions or continue seeing the therapist for a longer time depending on your emotional needs. If you are benefiting from counseling, it is best to continue for as long as you want.

Read more: 5 Most Common Behavioral Issues

How to Start Marriage Counseling

Talk to your partner – Marriage counseling involves both you and your partner. If you want to go for professional help, you will have to talk to your partner. Both of you must be willing to start counseling for it to be effective. If your partner is not willing, it is better to suggest individual counseling initially to make the experience less intimidating.

Find a counselor – If you and your partner are ready to make the next move, start looking for a counselor. Take your time and find a licensed and highly qualified therapist with years of experience. You can go for in-person or even online therapy if you are busy and finding time is challenging. Look around carefully to find a therapist who is positive, open-minded, and focuses on finding solutions that work for you.

Prepare yourself for the process – Once you have found the counselor, be prepared for the challenges. Counseling is not easy. It can be uncomfortable and even painful, but if you are willing to put in the effort and go all the way, you will get the best results. Being open, honest, and receptive throughout the process is essential for achieving relationship goals.

Marriage is a full-time commitment and requires hard work and maintenance to keep things going in the right direction. Counseling can help couples move through their struggles and survive as a team. It may not be easy or fast, but if your value your relationship, it is worth the effort.

Call Online Psychiatrists to schedule an appointment with Dr. Zlatin Ivanov to learn how you can improve your relationship, avoid or resolve conflicts and create a more satisfying and fulfilling relationship in the long run. Dr. Ivanov has helped thousands of couples overcome difficulties and challenges. He recommends tried and tested techniques and approaches to strengthen your bond and ensures you find positive ways to communicate that give your relationship the boost it needs.